Now or never

GOD, am I struggling right now!..

I was this afternoon with one of my best friends (António) and after he had listen to me, he advised me to call João Francisco, and actually almost made me promise I would do it today.

Well, I've arrived home just about half an hour, went to my pc (which I left turned on) and looked him up on the online people in the messenger feature.
Nothing.
Desperation.
Then, I went to my mail-box and there was a mail from him, but nothing personal, just the same boring "FW", but it had been sent like 10 minutes before. And I thought to myself, what if I call him?, but fear came into me again, and I didn't react. And suddenly another mail from him but, again, another "FW", this time from a mail I had sent the other day about "12 ways to know if you love someone". So cute. And so true.
But nothing more.

I really want to talk to him, and be with him. I miss him sooooo much. But nothing will happen if I just stay here and do nothing. It's stupid really. I look pretty pathetic everytime someone turns online on the messenger, or my phone rings... If my mum only knew...

Talking about her, she just called me...

I don't know what to do. I guess I must really call João Francisco, I mean, that's the only reasonable thing to do here. He said he likes and that he misses me. I said it to. What's next?

I'm afraid to put him in an awkard situation with his parents, family, friends, him, us...

Let me give it a try, perhaps...

ARGHH! I'm so afraid...

But I have to do it.

It's now or never.